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Clinton Routing Internet Magic Eraser (C.R.I.M.E.) Unit


Clinton Routing Internet Magic Eraser (C.R.I.M.E.) Unit

Clinton Routing Internet Magic Eraser (C.R.I.M.E.) Unit
Clinton Routing Internet Magic Eraser (C.R.I.M.E.) Unit

Everyone knows that once you put something out on the Internet, it's there forever, right....?

With the Clinton Routing Internet Magic Eraser you can rest assured that you can take back anything you put out on the Internet! Until now, common sense dictated that anything you send out can live forever in the Internet, but now there's no need for common sense or Internet Security!

Just plug this router into your cable or DSL modem and all outbound traffic will be tagged with special Magic Erasable metadata packets that will follow your data wherever it ends up. Log into the administration console to review your activity and delete all evidence with one click!

Frequently Asked Questions:

Q: My company uses cloud backups for email and cellular devices, doesn't that mean everything I send is saved forever in the cloud?

A: First of all, the "Cloud" isn't a real thing. It's a marketing term dreamed up by internet hosting corporations to give upper management a buzzword that makes them feel warm and fuzzy inside. The whole internet is the cloud. Our device tags your data with invisible metadata. On command, the router deletes all packets on the Internet that contain your metadata.

Q: I sent out thousands of emails containing confidential information to recipients who shouldn't have had access to that information, can this help?

A: Absolutely, there is no limit on the amount of data that you can erase with this device. Whether it's thousands of emails over the course of years, or hundreds of drunken text messages to your ex from last night, all copies will be magically erased from the Internet.

World's Best Cell Phone Pouches'
World's Best Cell Phone Pouches

"I was so grateful to be chosen as a Beta Tester for the C.R.I.M.E. Unit. In the past, Sexting ruined my life, but now I can send all the messages I want (no matter how big or small) and clean up the mess with one click!" — Anthony Weiner

Currently Sold Out!
Due to the extremely high demand for this product we've sold out of our first run of the units. Follow us on Facebook for updates and we'll let you know when we have another batch in stock!


Out Of Stock Clinton Routing Internet Magic Eraser

*Editor's Note:

This is a fictional product developed to make you laugh and for publicity. We mock both candidates equally, be sure to also check out (and share) our DJ Trump Voice Modulator unit.

It's sad that this disclaimer is necessary, but some viewers were unable to discern this for themselves. If you were not able to determine that this product is fake, or are offended by this material, please don't call us to place an order as you probably are not intelligent enough to figure out how to use our products anyhow.