NEW  Neuro Recognition™ Software SDK for Developers

Only  $19,995.95  for the 3 Developer License

Thought Recognition is Finally Here!

Microsoft Research in the United States perfected Voice Recognition software years ago. No matter what you say, you know it will always be recognized correctly the first time and every time you call into a Voice Mail System, IVR (Interactive Voice Response system) or automated 411 Information system using Microsoft's Voice Recognition Software.

Microsoft even designed their own phone system to take advantage of their Voice Recognition software, called Response Point, which has a simple blue button that you push to tell the phone what you want it to do.

Microsoft Response Point
Blue Command Button for
Voice Activated Features

Now, Microsoft Research Russia (MRR) in conjunction with the Chernobyl Electrical Institute has developed the world's first Neuro Recognition™ System (NRS) for Voice Mail, IVRs and automated 411 Information systems. All you have to do is think about what you need, and the software running on the system does it for you. You get the same 100% Accuracy you see every day on systems running Voice Recognition software - but the software just understands what you want without your having to speak.

With extensive experience in psychological and medical research, the Chernobyl Electrical Institute in Russia developed a monkey powered Neuro Recognition™ System. By simply attaching leads to a monkey brain, the Neuro Recognition™ System in conjunction with MRR's software knows exactly what you're thinking... On the phone, or sitting in-front of your phone.

Just Think It...

The  Neuro Recognition™ System  Makes it Happen!

Currently, the Neuro Recognition™ System is powered by monkey brains. The technology doesn't exist today to replicate the monkey brain in a solid state device, but the Chernobyl Electrical Institute is working with the Red Chinese Medical Society to implement all of the software in a 3mm wafer chip within five years, eliminating the need for one Russian monkey a month to power the system.

Simple connections to the Monkey Brain power the
Neuro
Recognition™
System

The next generation of the Response Point Phone System will be equipped with a red button (replacing the blue button), which will allow full thought control over the phone.

Look for the new Microsoft
Response Point Red Command Button
for Neuro (Thought) Activated Features
on the Response Point Phone System,
coming to a store near you

Order the 3 Developer Neuro Recognition™ SDK directly from Russia TODAY!

Only $19,995.95

Comes complete with 3 Live Russian Monkeys with NRS Brain Implants...
pre-cleared by US Customs (3 Monkeys will run a System for 90 Days)

You'll get 3 Monkeys Pre-wired for the
Neuro Recognition™ SDK with your order
for only  $19,995.95

Call in the next 15 minutes and
you'll also get the Monkey Brain
Waveform Monitor with your order

NOTE: The monkey brains powering the Neuro Recognition™ System are very sensitive. Please put a loop in your code which will detect bad thoughts (look for "Nasty" in the loop from the SDK), and cut the caller off. This will prevent overheating of the monkey brains, and the bad smell that accompanies the overheating.

100% Neuro Recognition™ is guaranteed at least 25% of the time!

Vitaliy Tolstonogov, Director of the Chernobyl Electrical Institute, has worked for years with Russian authorities on mind control. His research, along with the research of all of the scientists at the Chernobyl Electrical Institute and the Russian KGB, have allowed Americans to implement Thought Control through Microsoft Research Russia's Developer SDK.   PLEASE NOTE:   Billy Mays was scheduled to be the spokesman for the Neuro Recognition™ System in the US.  Due to his untimely death, Bill Gates will be appearing in US TV commercials for the NRS SDK, as well as OxiClean spots.

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